Monday, January 19, 2009

Height: The Least of My Problems

Ever since I was a young girl... errr, I mean, man, my peers had one obvious advantage over me. They could see further than me, climb bigger trees, talk to older girls.... actually thats a lie. The third one any way. The reason is that I have always been slightly shorter than my friends. Having said that, it was hard to find someone within a two year age radius of me who was shorter. I couldn't see as far as my friends because my vantage point wasn't quite as good. I couldn't climb the bigger trees because my arms were just too short to reach even the low branches, and, lets face it, I had smaller trees to fry! But the older girls thing? I'll tell you something, when you are as short as I was, girls of all ages will flock in droves to tell you just how darned cute you are. I'd be lying if I said it was horrible. Because it wasn't. Not in the least.
Unfortunately, as I grew older and grew at a tenth the speed of those around me, well, the sad and honest truth is that the girls stopped flocking. That was the start of my downfall, so to speak.
Then I arrived at a newly built school to start my secondary education. Sure I arrived a few weeks later than all the other kids, but before long (3.14159 years, give or take a decimal or two) they accepted me. There were three boys that I was now friends with whom I towered over! Oh, what a glorious feeling! It was great! Maybe I could avoid the downfall? But over the Christmas holidays tragedy struck! One of those boys grew taller than me. I knew it was coming, but to arrive back at school the next year, confirmed it as a terrifying reality. Over the course of the year I tried my best to ignore the growth of the two remaing Short-Ones. By the next Christmas, the second of them overtook me in height. I felt battered and broken. My legacy looked to be ripped apart and spread across the school playground in tatters. A dream never fully realised, but disapparating fast.
But today, just about the final blow, the arrow in the apple, was almost struck. The third and final Short-One was of an estimated equal height to myself. I fear for my standing in the group if he continues to grow. I've warned him before that I'll cut his legs off, yet he proceeds in his foul endeavours. I really am sorry that it has come to this, but he knew of my conditions. It appears this is my true downfall. But he should have taken heed.

"Past my height - the prospect's black.
Too late, it's gone, two legs you lack."

I thought it was clear enough.

2 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA
    I know how you feel.
    It's happened to me too =[

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  2. im glad you found it funny, haha. i was going for that.

    i guess we are in the same boat. my fellow sailor. cool! haha, though i don't like water.

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